The Brightest Star 💫

I closed the door, dropped my bag on the floor and sat on my nook. My breath felt lighter, so much lighter after I decided to end the chapter.

“These 3 years have been draining...”

7.30pm

For the first time in 3 years, I finally feel home. I feel my feet again, I feel my fingers, I can even feel the space in between my fingers!

“Wow, what is it? where have you been Ica?”

“Where have you been oh all my senses? Why were you numb before?”

Oh, it feels so good to have these senses back, to enjoy the present moment again, without having to divide my attention into two. It's whole, it's finally whole again. I am content.

I hovered my feet to the window and put it as high as I can. Turned my body into L shape, and my feet leaned to the window. Relaxing. I closed my eyes, and the black is not black anymore. I can see more colours, I see different spectrum of lights, pattern, texture. The deeper I look at it, the more colours I see, not only black, not even black. “Where have you been, Ica?”

8:45pm

I opened my eyes now, gaze to the sky. It is dark, super dark. The new moon doesn't help with the darkness, it is just making it dark, and super dark. But it is just making them brighter and brighter. The stars, I mean. 

“One, two, three, five, six, seven, eight..... nine...?” 

“Only nine?”

“No... One, two.. yeah those are the brightest. The six, seven, eight, nine are bright yet not the brightest”

“I wanna be an astronaut, not a start up worker. An astronaut can break the sky and go to any star they want! Isn't it cool when you can flex ‘oh I went to star 89 on winter, what about you? Oh to Hawaii? I guess you can't see how bright this star is!’ ohhhhh what a flex!”

Yeah, I don't know why I am always drawn to those 89ers. They are just the brightest in the sky. They are just, I don't know... The brightest..

I hovered my fingers to those 89ers. Two bright stars. One is keep blinking and sparkling. Like it cannot stop dancing to the rhythm of the universe. If that star took the Myers-Brigg personality test, ENFP it is. Chatty, charming, free and cheeky! 

Then there is one 89ers. Not as extroverted as the first one. This is still the 89ers family. But, this is calmer, shines so calm. Introverted. It shines brightly and warms at the same time. Just like the sun in the night. Weird, I know, weird description. But it gives warmth in the cold, cold night.

I squint my eyes, trying to analyse this particular calm 89 stars “Shoot!! They are so far away! 9,000 miles? Ah more than that!”

I grab my specs trying to zoom in. I still don't understand why they are so mysterious yet calm, and comforting and the brightest. The farthest, too. 

“Argh! I really wish I had taken the Astronaut class! Or certification! Is it possible to enroll to the class in late 20s? Or they will reject me because my brain pretty much has been shaped and won't be able to learn anything?”

I don't know man, I really want to break the atmosphere and flying freely in the sky and close to them, those 2 particular stars. If I have to guess, this one star must be ISFP. Introverted. Observant. Feeling. Prospecting. 

And ENFP. Extroverted. Intuitive. Feeling. Prospecting. 

They are far. So far.

Yet, they are close.

So close.

Shines similarly, yet blinks differently.

So far, yeah, so far, so far, Ica.

10:15pm

Good night.

See you again, 89🌟

I hope not in my dream, but reality.

00:00

Night.

***1989❤️

Bali, 15-04-2024