The Soul.

I am preparing myself for work. 

Rings, checked.

Earrings, checked.

Softlens, on.

Meals, unchecked. I am grabbing my empty lunch box and spoon half a spoon of rice.

“Ma, I will be home late tonight”

“Hmm?” she looks at me with a face that I can read as “What are you gonna do? Who? From? Good or bad?”or maybe she is questioning “Is she okay?”

“Casual, just casual” I said, assure her I will be fine tonight.

Mom nods, “Okay, take care”

****

The sound of the keyboard typing, a loud Indonesian song playing in the background, the never-ending questions from my only team, and a podcast I turned on that is trying to steal my attention and never gets any - those are all combined? It successfully distracted me for what I am going to do later tonight.

“Phew, working 8 hours long is so tiring!” yet I kept doing this for almost 6 years now. “Bullshit, bull... shit....”

‘ding!’

“I will send you my ETA later”

I smiled.

“Sure, just let me know. See yaa!” sent.

***

“Oh my, what am I doing... 

Okay, just take it easy, it's just casual anyway. At least I can see a beautiful sunset” say me to myself in my small mirror, after making sure I don't look pale, or my eyebrows don't match.

The breeze twisted my hair that I prepared since morning. “Annoying!” “But again, this is just casual, take this easy my dear, just casual”

“why do I care so much?” I stare to the sea.

***

Little did I know, time flies. 

I am home.

I am home, literally home.

And I am happy.

This feeling is so good, I am content. 

This heart is full. 

This night is so beautiful.

The sunset.

The food.

The desserts.

The sweets, but;

The conversation wins above all, but;

The person wins above all.

The hands that find each other.

The hugs that just happen as the universe also long for it.

The words that out from this mouth.

The pat on the back.

The lips that wait for the courage to erase this short distance.

The soul is after all, the winner.

This feels so genuine, pure.

Thank you, I feel it again, t.

****

“You look genuinely happy, huh? You know you cannot fake it. You know that you look different if you are not feeling it? You become quiet, you try your best to find the good things, almost to the point you fake it. Now look at you, excited. I can see the flowers growing in your heart, your tummy full of butterflies, you simply the whole garden now. Who's the sun? Tell me!” she poked me.

“Well, you know me so much. And I hope this time I am not gullible anymore”I replied to my sister.

“Hmm” she smirked.

****

September 19th, 2024

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