Feeling Content
Hi, guys welcome back! This post is going to
be another random thought of mine (again) hahahaha.
Well, this is like a summary
of every piece of things that happened to me a few months ago till today.
January, the starting point of 2019. I
faced so many obstacles, shits, hard things in my life. Thesis examination,
journal (an article of thesis), and many jobs that came once at a time! They came all together, like exactly in the same week! I felt really depressed yet proud of
myself because I can pass it all. However, I didn’t have much time to relax, have fun,
hang out with friends and family, I can say I was an anti-social because of
those moments.
My career starting to grow, my university
responsibility calling me out, my family wanting my time, my friends
too, and deep down inside myself need me-time too…
I cried a lot, I easily lost my focus, one
job calling me, another one needs me, the other job kept yelling at me. Deadline to deadline...
I was super stressful but I still didn’t realise that I need time, time
to rest.
Laptop, late-night call, sales target,
pressure, deadline, riding motorbike in rush, sleepless: all are my daily
routine. I started to make coffee as my best friend… (whoever read my last
post must know that I am a coffee enemy but since January 2019, coffee is my
best friend)
September, October, November, December, January,
February and March… Everything came across. Career and education, I got it all.
I started my career earlier then people my age.
I finished my education on time. I got many big companies calling me to work
for them, not only the domestic company but international ones. I really Thank God for this!
I feel lost, I don’t know what to
achieve, I run for everything in front of me, not knowing what deep inside my
heart wanted to be. I did everything, everything, tried everything. I started everything but never finish a thing.
Lost my focus, never be in the present
moment, always stuck in the past for what I have done wrong, daydreaming the
future, hardly find what’s inside me.
This mid-March, the 22nd y.o me
finally found the path.
To be okay for being not okay because nobody is
perfect.
To be able to say no for things that I cannot do, and things that I don’t want
to do.
To feeling content for having what I have now.
To enjoy the simplicity.
To not
live in a rush.
This January, in Mongkok, a piece of advice from my best friend was …
It was
not wrong to love somebody, but it is wrong when you put much expectation on
it. So don’t stop yourself from loving, especially loving yourself because when
you love yourself, that love sparks to other people too and it is beautiful…
Well, 7 months, 3 big cities, Hong Kong,
Kuala Lumpur and Singapore, they all taught me a lot of life and love…
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